Singles' Awareness

Today I had the priveledge of joining my friends Nate and Ros in their wedding ceremony. It was a beautiful, unique ceremony officiated by my friend Dennis Mansfield. Dennis did a great job and blogged about the whole experience as it was happening--somehow.

Weddings are a funny thing. I was talking to my friend Stephen today, who's 14, about how kids hate weddings. That wasn't my experience growing up--I usually sat in awe at them, watching these two peoples' lives change forever. This person that used to simply be cousin or friend would soon always be with another, and everything would be different.

It wasn't until I grew older that I started to dislike weddings. The first reason (man, I'm selfish here) is the weird gift-giving, composed of a list so thorough it confuses me. I suppose absurdly specific lists are now becoming more common at Christmas and on Birthdays (thank you Amazon wishlist!), but the whole thing feels so contrived. It feels like tradition steeped in tradition, and rarely speaks of my good-will but more often of my guilty conciense not wanting to show up empty-handed.

The second reason is that it accentuates my own lack of being married. I recently heard Valentine's referred to as "Singles' Awareness Day." Weddings seem to have the same effect. More than at any other social gathering, during a wedding reception I feel alone as I talk to people. I move from couple to couple, trying but unable to find my place. So many times today, I'd find myself talking to a couple only to see them wander off in their minds to their own special day. Maybe this awkwardness is why it's always a good idea to serve your guests alcohol.

I didn't catch the garder today. Neither did I try. I stood out in the crowd of single boys waiting to catch, but put myself in what I considered the least likely position to wind up getting hitched next. Not only do I not want to be married any time soon, but after already feeling awkward I didn't want to find myself in the center of anyone's attention.

Regarding leaving a wedding, I've decided there's no good answer for an in-town ceremony. When I was visiting Karl's in Duluth or my cousin Naomi's in Joplin, the pressure seemed to be eased on this issue. I was at the mercy of my rides on both those occasions, and during the latter ended up staying for all the clean-up. After travelling by bus multiple days for both those events, it only made sense to stay as long as possible. And, the out-of-town weddings I've attended have been more about seeing the people I know and love before and after the ceremony, and less about the thing itself. I think that has helped.