Pertaining mostly to my interest in the film industry

Back in High School, I had to do a report in my Senior year that involved not only extensive research, but a physical, hands-on piece as well. In those days, I was pretty sure that I wanted to go in to film directing as a career, so I chose Direction as my topic. I learned a lot from that paper, and from the project that accompanied it. I wrote, directed, and edited a movie titled "What's the Scariest Thing That's Ever Happened to You?" Not an especially inspired title, I know. Give me some slack, it was my first film.

And my last, for quite some time.

After High School I chose to take a year off to step back and really evaluate what I wanted to do. At the end of that year, I was still pretty determined to pursue film, but felt that I lacked the foundation of character I wanted before entering into the big, scary, secular world of cinema. At that time, I chose to enter the School of Christian Character Development then offered by Vineyard Boise.

At the end of that school, I found myself no longer sure of what I wanted to do. I think I'd begun pursuing so many different things (toying with the idea of graphic design, or Biblical studies program), that I spread myself too thin. Vineyard Boise's Children's Ministry offered me a job making little videos to show to the kids each Sunday and I jumped at that. Throughout the school year I'd been in charge of making little skits that our class would perform for the kids, and by the end of the year some of those had morphed into videos. The job just made sense at the time--I'd gain a lot of experience in film, and I figured if I could get a 12 year-old to act I'd have the inside scoop on inspiring a believable performance from anyone.

Today, I'm again thinking about what a career in the film industry would look like. But there's that word--career. It always scares me. I enjoy doing so many things that I hate the idea of only pursuing one of them for the rest of my days here on Earth. If I were to do that, I think I'd more than likely end up having six different midlife crises, all separated by only a handful of years.

I have, however, been satisfied with my abilities in that field. In the summer of 2008, Brandon asked me if I would direct a film he was writing, titled "The Baseball." I almost didn't take the opportunity, but something pushed me toward it. After entering into the project, I found it very refreshing. My job had become very stale, to where I felt like I'd work on projects for an obscene amount of time and have them go nowhere. This film was different for me, in that the whole process from pre- to post-production lasted no more than two months. I found a lot of satisfaction in making a decision and seeing it acted on almost immediately--whether good or bad. Brandon did a very nice write-up of "The Baseball" that he posted on his site.

Brandon and I both did a lot of legwork to make that happen. He had a lot of time into the script, and then all the aspects of producing (collecting the actors, the crew, etc., and figuring out all the scheduling), cinematographer, editor, and composer. As director, I did some location scouting and ended up settling on my parents' house in Nampa, which (along with the neighboring rental they were then fixing up) worked great for all the scenes of the film. Then, when actually directing the actors, I was very proud of their performances and the things we would do together--suggestions I'd give them that they'd take and make their own, making the whole project very solid.

I almost said that I didn't say that to build my own ego. That's not true. I think that in some ways I'm writing this post for exactly that purpose. Not for the reader's benefit, but for my own. I have a tendency to doubt my abilities in everything I do, so it helps me every once in a while to pat myself on the back. I know it's sick, but the reality of the situation is that if I don't first believe that I did well on something, rarely will anyone else's (positive) opinion have much effect on me.

Wrap it up, David. But that's hard to do. For now, I'm still just wandering around my mind, trying to decide what to do next. I think immediately, since I need money, I'll probably work somewhere like an Applebee's or something else that I won't feel too committed too. Don't let me do that too long, though, friends, or else I may never step out and do something that really intimidates me.