A recent conversation with a friend reminded me of one of my least-favorite phrases, "Goody Two-shoes." In the context of our Google chat, my friend was referring to the fact that I was uninterested in his newfound ability to pirate Adobe's software.
I've never felt the need to make people feel good about their sins. Sometimes it makes me appear judgmental, I suppose, but the reality of the situation is their attempted assault on my character reflects more on them. Often, the only reason someone would refer to another as being too good would be to lessen their guilt about their own wrongdoing.
One of the adverse effects of this whole thing is that it makes me want to lash out in anger. I won't mince words--being insulted in this way makes me furious. It implies that my attempts to live life in the most honest way I can is somehow encroaching on their ability to live in whichever way they are accustomed to. Though I can see how my integrity next to their lack thereof could make someone feel bad, I don't understand how it is my responsibility to make someone feel good about everything they do.
Normally, I try not to go out of my way to point out sin in another's life, but in this situation--when they're trying to push it on me--how can I do anything but speak up? I suppose the question is, though, how do I do that without becoming self-righteous? And what if my attempts at humility are still seen as arrogant?
This brings me again to the conclusion that I can live my life only for myself and for God.
But then I fear that perhaps I'll build such high walls regarding people ("what you think of me is irrelevant") that I'll never connect.
2 comments:
I like your thought process. And I totally appreciate your ability to be honest when most people are not.
All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing. (Edmund Burke)
Kudos on your hubris to speak out. Although you friend's accusation raised your ire and indignation, I loved your landing: 'I can live my life only for myself and for God.'
You've reminded me of my own struggle in this very area. I've come across this great, old saying, "Each person should test his own actions. Then he can take pride in himself, without comparing himself to somebody else, for each one should carry his own load." I love the fact that this statement comes after a conversation encouraging gentleness in the types of situations you encountered with your friend.
Perhaps that's what would help us simply speak out without the threat of self-righteousness ... whether there is judgment or gentleness in our hearts as we speak.
I don't know. I'm still on this journey myself. Thanks so much for sharing your process...it helps me with mine.
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